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Men don’t."
Lesbianism has been slowly taking root among young women in Kenya’s urban centres. Fuelled by television, worldliness, and sheer curiosity, many women in their late teens and twenties turn to other females for companionship and sexual gratification.
Many young university students are what is referred to in lesbian circles as a lesbian until graduation. “I wasn’t really a lesbian, I was bi-curious” says a lady “I was introduced to lesbianism by my roommate when I first joined university. I had a boyfriend at the time but I was curious and decide to try it out, and I ended up liking it.”
When she was 25 and about to graduate with a degree in psychology, the lady went back to men after dating two women. Her reason is that lesbian circles are small and there is a lot of sharing and promiscuity. “Almost everyone knows everyone else and people interchange relationships.”
She adds that she also quit because she was tired of hiding. “None of my family could find out. Society is not very forgiving. I couldn’t show affection to my girlfriend in public and I always felt as if we were doing something wrong,” she says.
She insists that her switching back was not because of sexual matters as she still prefers girls. “The only reason I quit is because lesbianism doesn’t have the security of marrying, having children, and settling down with the person you love like in a heterosexual relationship,” she concludes.
She adds that she also quit because she was tired of hiding. “None of my family could find out. Society is not very forgiving. I couldn’t show affection to my girlfriend in public and I always felt as if we were doing something wrong,” she says.
She insists that her switching back was not because of sexual matters as she still prefers girls. “The only reason I quit is because lesbianism doesn’t have the security of marrying, having children, and settling down with the person you love like in a heterosexual relationship,” she concludes.
Not all girls see lesbianism as just a college adventure or something you could easily switch on and off. At 25, she has always been a lesbian. “I have nothing against men. They just don’t attract me sexually. I want to marry a woman and have children with her. If that cannot happen, I will marry a gay man for show and we will both continue living our respective lives.”
For as long as she can remember, she has liked girls. “Growing up, and as a teenager, my friends would notice boys and talk about how cute they were. All I noticed was girls. A nice hairstyle here or a nice dress there.’’
When she was 25 and about to graduate with a degree in psychology, the lady went back to men after dating two women. Her reason is that lesbian circles are small and there is a lot of sharing and promiscuity. “Almost everyone knows everyone else and people interchange relationships.”
She adds that she also quit because she was tired of hiding. “None of my family could find out. Society is not very forgiving. I couldn’t show affection to my girlfriend in public and I always felt as if we were doing something wrong,” she says.
She adds that she also quit because she was tired of hiding. “None of my family could find out. Society is not very forgiving. I couldn’t show affection to my girlfriend in public and I always felt as if we were doing something wrong,” she says.
She insists that her switching back was not because of sexual matters as she still prefers girls. “The only reason I quit is because lesbianism doesn’t have the security of marrying, having children, and settling down with the person you love like in a heterosexual relationship,” she concludes.
Not all girls see lesbianism as just a college adventure or something you could easily switch on and off. At 25, she has always been a lesbian. “I have nothing against men. They just don’t attract me sexually. I want to marry a woman and have children with her. If that cannot happen, I will marry a gay man for show and we will both continue living our respective lives.”
For as long as she can remember, she has liked girls. “Growing up, and as a teenager, my friends would notice boys and talk about how cute they were. All I noticed was girls. A nice hairstyle here or a nice dress there.’’
She discovered her orientation while in a girl’s boarding school. “I had my first encounter with a friend in high school. My friends said that it’s a phase that would pass. Some said I needed help, so I tried a guy when I was about 18. It was a friend whom I cared for deeply. I hated it and the relationship ended.”
As the lady says, there are many types of lesbians depending on sexual preference, dressing, behaviour, and age. “Femmes” or “lipsticks” are girly girls who dress up in pretty dresses, wear make-up, and ooze feminism. “Studs” or “chapsticks” are lesbians who, while they take care of themselves and act girly, wear men’s clothes. A girl who might switch between a femme and stud is referred to in the lesbian circles as a “stem”.
A “butch”, on the other hand, is an all masculine lesbian who dresses in baggy clothes and acts like a man while a “footchie” is an older, often married woman who still partakes of lesbian activities. A “gold star” is a lesbian who has never been with a man while the term “hasbian” refers to women who were once lesbian but now express interest in men.
After the quick titillating lesson, The lady, who has been in a relationship with her lesbian partner for two years, admits that most girls who claim to be lesbians are just in it for a bit of fun and adventure.
“Almost all my friends at university were straight but most of them were curious. They wanted to know how it felt like to kiss or make out with a girl. One of them tried it out once and ended up being in a relationship with a girl for a whole year. They even moved in together but it didn’t work out and she went back to dating guys.”
She graduated from Nairobi University with a law degree, and claims that both society and the law tend to be more forgiving of lesbians than gay men.
“The law is not very descriptive of female to female relationships as it is of male to male. There’s no clear description of lesbianism in our Constitution, so we tend to get away with it. Even people on the streets don’t really seem to mind lesbians as much as they do gays,” she says.
Her twin sister and a nutritionist by profession, is also a fully fledged lesbian. Just like her sister, she also discovered her penchant for females while in a girl’s boarding high school.
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